So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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