he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
there is glitter all over my balls
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