I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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