it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
