I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
