Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
found the other keg... it's in the tree
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
