if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
