get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize