so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
