Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
