Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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