he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
