The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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