White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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