So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
