I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
