Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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