she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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