i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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