He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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