Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
