I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We don't watch enough power rangers
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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