Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
