Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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