Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
