I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
