He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize