NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
