Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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