There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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