People with herpes should wear stickers.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
