Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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