We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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