I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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