What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
