i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
