just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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