Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
