When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
