dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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