hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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