I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize