am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
