Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
