I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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