lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
And then he peed in my hair
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