i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
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