If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
