I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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