I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
