I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
