So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
