Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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