I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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