he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
