i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
