I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
