Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
