You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
