id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize