Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
