Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
